Make Football Great Again

“Aren’t you sick of that by now?… Even if you hate me, you’ve got to admit that I’m at least saying something different.” – I’ve Heard, Hot Karl

Call it off everybody, let’s pack up and go home. The season is done! Haven’t you heard? Man Utd have won the league already. I mean sure, they’ve played 2 games against Bournemouth and Southampton (and admittedly won well), but that’s much of a muchness. They won the league in the boardroom dummies! £30 million on Bailly, another 20 odd on Mkhi…that bloke from Dortmund (his name needs more vowels, it’s ridiculous), and the coup de grace, bringing back Paul Pogba. £90 million! If the Premier League was a Mortal Kombat battle, Mourinho unleashed a crushing fatality on all of the opposition with that signing. Hand them over the league title immediately!

Except, no. You may have to whisper this part, but…