Make Football Great Again

“Aren’t you sick of that by now?… Even if you hate me, you’ve got to admit that I’m at least saying something different.” – I’ve Heard, Hot Karl

Call it off everybody, let’s pack up and go home. The season is done! Haven’t you heard? Man Utd have won the league already. I mean sure, they’ve played 2 games against Bournemouth and Southampton (and admittedly won well), but that’s much of a muchness. They won the league in the boardroom dummies! £30 million on Bailly, another 20 odd on Mkhi…that bloke from Dortmund (his name needs more vowels, it’s ridiculous), and the coup de grace, bringing back Paul Pogba. £90 million! If the Premier League was a Mortal Kombat battle, Mourinho unleashed a crushing fatality on all of the opposition with that signing. Hand them over the league title immediately!

Except, no. You may have to whisper this part, but…

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“Sometimes the lies get millions of views…”

Look. I don’t particularly like blowing my own trumpet. It doesn’t give me great pride to be self-congratulatory and say to myself “well done David. You were proven right yet again. You truly are a genius and people need to know this. You’re the hero Gotham needs, but not the one it deserves right now.”

But you know, I was proven right again.

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“Well They’ll Say What They Say…But It Doesn’t Mean a Goddamn Thing”

Well I’ve been coaxed out of my shell, and I promise that this page will again get the attention that I haven’t given to it for a long while. Truth is, between work, life and general laziness I haven’t made the time to update this. There’s a lot of internet out there and I’m easily distracted.

Among the things that I’ve been distracted by is comedy albums, and in particular Hannibal Buress’ (Animal Furnace, it’s great, listen to it, it’s on Spotify). It has one filler line in a joke about eating penguins, and it adds nothing to the joke, but it resonates with me.

“People never have anything.”

And yes, it is tenuously linked to football, but it speaks to my view about the world of football right now. Bear with me.

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Do We Have Everybody’s Attention Now?

Aaron Ramsey vs Liverpool

 

*This was written and posted on givemefootball.com pre-Dortmund, but I suppose it’s even more pertinent now*

**Let’s pretend I haven’t been missing from here for ages, ok?**

 

The look of disgust was clear. The contempt was palpable. The derision in his voice was as loud as his words. Matter of fact, it was one word. “No”. Alan Hansen on Match of the Day dismissed Arsenal’s title hopes without so much as a second thought. Call me petty, call me trivial, call me any number of things, but I am an unashamed Arsenal fan. And when somebody in a position that he’s in and with the knowledge that he has outright dismisses my team as nothing more than a flash in the pan, I, like many other unashamed Arsenal fans, take issue with this. It rankles with us, and it gets under our skin.

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Why We Celebrated Fourth

“You’re Arsenal. The Arsenal. You should be challenging for titles, yet here you are, celebrating fourth. That’s nothing to celebrate. 10 years ago, you were celebrating winning the league undefeated. Now you celebrate fourth.”

Yet we celebrated. We celebrated long and hard. Maybe even over celebrated. But we don’t care. Not a single, solitary care in the world.

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Chelsea Should Get the Shovel and Bury the Castle

The fantasy story is nothing like the reality. While Chelsea cried for Mourinho’s castle, Rafa Benitez was brought in to build a sturdy house, brick by boring brick. And now his time is just about up. Like the stepdad that they never really wanted, it would appear that the Chelsea fans will soon have their way and be shot of the man so they can run back into daddy’s arms. But, while he was never going to be popular, he should have been treated with more respect.

When Benitez arrived, he was never going to be given the warmest reception. His association with Liverpool was always going to loom over his head, never mind the fact that he often managed to get one over on the Special One during his time there. Chelsea fans wanted to persist with Roberto Di Matteo, the guy who managed to luck out in Munich. He bumbled past Napoli, stumbled past Benfica, diced with Lady Luck in Barcelona and then made out with her sister in Munich. But the lady took her revenge on Di Matteo as they were found out in the Champions League group stage. Benitez was handed the reins as the team were on the verge of embarrassment, yet still they chanted for Di Matteo, same time, same place, every weekend.

But still, Benitez carried on with calm. Every week, asked the same questions about the response of the Chelsea fans, he didn’t give out. Just carried on with dignity. Even his ‘rant’ against them was done with the results of the club in mind.

“If they continue singing and talking and talking then I think they are not making any favours. They have to support the players, they have to support the team, I have experience as a manager, I will do my best until the last day.”

But look at what Benitez has managed to lay down for Chelsea in the future. He has managed to develop a framework that has seen the waning powers of John Terry managed efficiently, has David Luiz out of his own way in defence, has Fernando Torres looking almost like a footballer again, and most importantly, has allowed Juan Mata, Eden Hazard and Oscar to fit into a flowing system.

And now he has a Europa League in the bag too. They were played off the pitch in the first half, and frankly, were lucky to be in the game. But Benitez has seen way worse first halves than that in European finals, and he got into the players at half time evidently. Chelsea came out renewed, and eventually clawed their way to another victory. Bar the FA Cup, Benitez has done all that Benitez could do for Chelsea, and now he’ll sail away into the sunset with his head held high. In the midst of a real storm of crap, to outsiders, Benitez has come out smelling of roses.

And it’s now back to Jose Mourinho for Chelsea. But before that circus comes to town, Chelsea should count their lucky stars that they had Benitez.

David Will Never Replace Goliath

I think it’s safe to say that when people heard the news, there was almost a relief that flooded over opposition fans the world over, for a number of reasons. For one, Fergie time is soon to be a thing of the past. Two, Manchester United will be losing a great manager. And finally, we can all finally, begrudgingly admit the respect that we have for him.

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Why I feel no sympathy for Frank Lampard

“…when you love something, you don’t threaten it. You don’t punish it. You fight for it. You take care of it. You put it first…If I seem too passionate, it’s because I care. If I come on strong, it’s because I feel strongly. If I push too hard, its because things aren’t moving fast enough. This is my home. You are my family. And I promise you…I’m not going anywhere.”

Now, this may be just a quote from what is my favourite sitcom ever. But there is a real purpose and a lesson behind Leslie Knope’s closing statement in the Pawnee debates. Because when you love something, you don’t threaten it, and you don’t punish it because things aren’t quite working out for you.

This is why I have no sympathy for Frank Lampard.

578 appearances, 193 goals, four FA cups, three Premier League titles, two League cups and one unforgettable, unbelievable Champions League trophy. He is undoubtedly a true legend at the West London club.

But interspersed in there, hidden away and brushed under the carpet, are two large errors that, in my opinion, somewhat undermine his magnificent efforts and status at the club.

In the summer of 2008, 30 year old Frank Lampard was coming off the back of a season fraught with heartbreak. Runners up in the League Cup, the Premier League and the Champions League, where they were one John Terry slip away from being crowned the champions of Europe in Roman Abramovich’s homeland. Despite another 20 goal haul including one in the Champions League final, Lampard had his worst year in terms of appearances, only managing 40.

So naturally, he was handed a bumper 5-year contract which also made him the highest paid player in the league at the time.

Wait, what? As extraordinary as it sounds, the midfielder was rewarded with a massive new contract. As always seems to be the way with football, the method to secure it was shady to say the least. Lampard essentially held the club hostage, threatening them. Before the contract was signed, a summer of speculation surrounded West London, as rumours intensified that Inter Milan and their new coach Jose Mourinho wanted Frank Lampard to join their revolution. Make no mistake, these rumours don’t just make their way into newspapers with a well-placed source or two. This was very much the work of an agent working at Lampard’s behest, designed to twist Abramovich’s arm a little bit further in negotiations. Just a little reminder that if you don’t give him what he wants, Lampard is off. And it very obviously paid off, handsomely in fact.

This may all be fair in the world of contract negotiations, but it just doesn’t sit right with me.

But the worst in my opinion was still to come.

Andre Villas-Boas had come in with a burgeoning reputation. The extremely young manager who had just won a Portuguese treble with Porto took over at Chelsea, tasked with leading a revolution at the club. The philosophy was going to change, the style of play and the reliance on a few old hands was going to be redressed. This idea may have put a few noses out of joint around the place, but it was all for the improvement of Chelsea Football Club.

But that was all very quickly undermined when it became clear that a few players in particular were no longer required to be the figureheads that they had been previously. As 2012 rolled around, it became more and more clear that Lampard was no longer the indispensable player that he was previously, and that he was not happy with it. Speaking publically, Villas-Boas admitted “some players are not with me” after a dressing room bust up after a defeat to Everton was leaked to the press. Lampard later also admitted publically that his relationship with Villas-Boas was “not ideal”, and made his despair at not being selected obvious throughout the Portuguese coach’s time in charge.

Now, I’m not saying Lampard never gave his all when picked, far from it. He always has been and always be an exceptional professional. I would argue until I’m blue in the face that he is the ultimate example of a player who has worked tirelessly to make the most of his talents. Not as naturally gifted as a Steven Gerrard or Joe Cole, his achievements outweigh theirs because he has absolutely worked and worked to be the very best he can be. But, as a leader in that dressing room, he could have done more to unite that squad at that time, and he certainly could have backed the manager and the changes that he was trying to implement. But, for somewhat selfish reasons, he chose another path, and let himself down in my opinion.

In the grand scheme of things, Lampard will always be a legend at Stamford Bridge, perhaps the greatest player to play for the club. That should never be in doubt. But the caveats to the praises he gets should also be spoken of at the same time.

To reverse a popular saying, alongside Frank Lampard’s silver lining, there will always still hang a cloud.

Consider Me the Reason You Should Pay Attention

Honest Pro has a little confession to make. I like being right. I know, big deal, everybody does, right? But some people enjoy being humble and right.

I am not one of those people. I love to revel in the majesty of my correctness, rubbing it in the faces of people who doubt my decisions. And even in the faces of those who don’t doubt my decisions. I just bloody love being right. I tried to rein in my smugness when I said Iniesta was the best player at Euro 2012 after everybody else was on the Pirlo bandwagon. And then KABOOM!

Which brings me on to Olivier Giroud.

KABLAM!

 

You’re welcome.