Anatomy of a Goal – Zidane vs Leverkusen

I loved Zinedine Zidane. I have no qualms saying that. I loved the inventiveness, the intelligence, the nonchalance, even the spikiness. Here was a man that could do it all on the football pitch. The good, bad and ugly. And the thing that was always apparent above all else was the grace with which he did it. Arsene Wenger has said before that some players turn football into art, and never has this been more applicable to any player.

Now, this is not me saying Zidane is the best player ever. Never has football seen a player as brutally efficient as Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldinho’s highest point could well be higher than anybody’s ever. Lionel Messi is…well, Lionel Messi. But nobody has ever made it look so good.

Which leads me on to the subject of today.  You see, in the grand scheme of things, some goals stand out a little bit more than others. And while Zidane has had a catalogue of stand out goals, like this against Valladolid, or this against Tokyo Verdy or this against Deportivo (I could really go on and on), there’s one goal in the catalogue that peers above all the others.

 

It’s the most beautiful combination of technique, brutal power, unimaginable skill and grandiose occasion. Never mind that it’s on his weak foot, never mind that the ball is seemingly descending from the heavens, it’s the bloody Champions League final! This is the only time the phrase “he has no right to hit that” is passable at all.

However, hit that he did. And here is how. The anatomy of Zinedine Zidane vs Bayer Leverkusen.

Anatomy of a Goal – Bergkamp vs Leverkusen

In this new series, I’m going to take a look at a few of my favourite goals, and try to break down what is happening, why it’s happening and how it’s happening. There are many, many small decisions and moments that make up any goal, and you generally need a lot of things to fall into place to score a goal. The thing that makes the great goals truly great is that they are a series of optimal decisions, executed to perfection. This may sound cold and calculated, like completing an equation in maths class. And the truth is that they are. They are cold, calculated decisions that give 100% chance of success. That’s what makes the players who execute these goals geniuses.

That being said, I see no better place to start than with an Arsenal legend, who’s very nickname suggests ruthlessness and a killer instinct that belies the genius that he undoubtedly is. Ladies and (most probably exclusively) gentlemen, I give you Dennis Bergkamp vs Bayer Leverksuen.

Why We Celebrated Fourth

“You’re Arsenal. The Arsenal. You should be challenging for titles, yet here you are, celebrating fourth. That’s nothing to celebrate. 10 years ago, you were celebrating winning the league undefeated. Now you celebrate fourth.”

Yet we celebrated. We celebrated long and hard. Maybe even over celebrated. But we don’t care. Not a single, solitary care in the world.

Journalistic Integrity

As host of this little shindig, I shouldn’t abuse my position of power.

But Tottenham….

Taken Apart Brick by Amazing Brick

Go back to being a small child, full of awe and wonderment. The world is huge, scary and troubling for you, with all of its majesty. But there are a number of cornerstones in your life that just safeguard you. Your favourite toys, sleeping with the lights on to stay safe from the Boogeyman, and your parents. Your mum is the safeguard for all things loving, and your dad is a superhero. Your dad is the man who could take on the world. To you, he’s the fastest, the biggest, the strongest, no matter what anybody says.

So it’s hugely disconcerting when your dad gets beaten up.

“Magic is sometimes very close to nothing at all”

Florentino Perez, the founder of the infamous, elaborate and extravagant Galactico era at Real Madrid had to play this one a little bit differently. Coy, even. Direct nonetheless however. “Do you want to play for Real Madrid?” he scrawled on the napkin. The note made its way around the table before reaching its intended target. The smile betrayed the answer, but the note was returned anyway, with a simple “yes” written in response. And in one simple moment, the un-Galactico was identified as the next Galactico.

Andres Iniesta – El Caballero Pàlido

Guardiola strolled into training, trying to play it cool. In the changing rooms, he sought out his understudy Xavi. Finding him, he pulled him aside to impart his knowledge. “Hey kid, listen,” he told Xavi. “One day, you’re going to retire me. But this kid is going to retire us all.” Guardiola pointed him out, the new boy to the dressing room.” The pale boy in the corner, young and so naïve that he got lost on the way to the dressing room. Guardiola announced to his team-mates “Remember this day – the first day you played with Andres.”